He is my fifth.
He will not be deprived.
He is breastfed.
After 4 children, my sentiments about breastfeeding hadn't changed. I swore to myself to breastfeed my son until he isn't into it anymore. Though not exclusively, I will provide for him long term.
When I had my first child 15 years ago, I told myself to not give up albeit the pain and stress. And with pride, I got through until she was a year and 8 months. I continued until she is sharing my breasts with his newborn brother.
Mind you, I've had woes and I felt traumatized whenever it's time to breastfeed my daughter. I'd feel guilty as I am tempted to give her milk from the bottle instead. But no, as much as I can, I'd push the thoughts aside and give her my engorged breast. Yes, I've got engorgement ( the state where your breast look and feel really heavy because it's full of milk.) My breast size increased a big deal and just when I thought I'd enjoy it, I didn't. I am immensely blessed with an ample supply of milk, could be because I ate malunggay whenever possible. It's relatively evident for first time mothers to experience such especially during breastfeeding times. I had sore nipples, and since one of my breasts is inverted, it aggravated my situation.
What I did was I only let my daughter feed from my breast with an erect nipple. I thought I was doing the right thing because then all I see is that I'm overflowing with milk and I cared less if I 'm not giving her both as long as she is satisfied with my feeding. What I failed to realize is that since the stimulation is centered on one breast, the production is focused mainly on that one while the other became dormant. I was also reminded several times to make sure she feeds from both for the reason that my breasts won't be equal in size and shape.. Only after did I realize that indeed they aren't the same in size anymore. The one who is constantly sucked is bigger than the other. It didn't matter to me since I was never conscious of my size anyway. I tried using breast pumps, but I seem not to know how to follow instructions so I failed. I stopped using pumps after a few tries and stuck with my daughter doing her deed.
With my second child coming 2 months shy of my firstborn's 1st birthday, I knew I had to give a halt to my daughter to give way for my newborn but my daughter then was so persistent. I ended up feeding them both at the same time to which I had no choice but to give my inverted one. It was so painful that many times I am crying while feeding and all I could do was pray that they're already full and will sleep. Breastfeeding for me was a task, so compelling. It was my heart's desire to provide milk for my children through breastfeeding, but I can't and won't deny the fact that I dejected doing it. Thankfully though, in between formula and my milk, I was able to breastfeed my daughter for almost 2 years and my son for one year. Two years following the birth of my son, I had another son whom I breastfed for 8 months with no pain whatsoever, maybe because I was able to rest for two years prior. Same goes with my 4th child, I am an expert.
Why did I choose to breastfeed? Yes, it is a choice and it is to be respected. I chose to breastfeed because of its health benefits. Since time and memorial, it has been taught in school, in our society and our family circle how important breastfeeding is for newborns to 6 months. It is a choice that I firmly assert to regardless of the pain it brought me. The fulfillment is more of an achievement; something that made me feel good, again no matter how excruciating the experience was for me. Secondary to that is the practical reasons. We all know how expensive an infant's milk costs apart from all other expenses that came with having a baby. My breastfeeding our children has tremendously lessen our budget for milk. What would I do with my generous production of milk, anyway?
And since I am a young mother who still goes to school, sleep is very important for me. My children never made me get up in the middle of the night primarily because my milk is readily available. No intensive preparations needed.
I am aware that not every mother is blessed like me in the sense of milk production. Some may not even have the luxury of time to be with their babies long enough to breastfeed them; some may have to go back to work or some may have other personal reasons. Still, breastfeeding is not a variable that gauges a mother's love for her baby. Neither is it a state for mothers to feel guilty of.
However, there are other possible options in case a mother would want to pursue her advocacy in breastfeeding. Consult with your OB-Gyne or breastfeeding consultant in your local health centers for tips on how to stimulate milk production. With my 5th child, I was given a one on one tutoring by the midwife at our local clinic. It helped. She gave me lessons on how to massage and put warm compress over my breasts; she also told me about the product to be used for my inverted nipple. It is called a nipple shield. It is in a shape of a nipple but wearable. You put it on your breast and your baby will suck the silicon part instead of your own but since there is sucking involved, it will stimulate the supply of milk. Also, there are other products now that are available in the market compared to 15 years ago.
My son is 13 months old now and still being breastfed. He sleeps faster and better when I breastfeed him; in fact, if given a milk in a bottle he would simply finish it. For my son, my breast is like his comfort zone. When distressed or crying, my breast could pacify him and before long, he is sound asleep.
I am grateful in this generation when people are more educated, civilized and respectful of the advantages of breastfeeding. With the increasing number of products that support the natural way of feeding, it presents the feeling of encouragement for women not to be ashamed and instead be proud.
In fact had it been 15 years earlier, I wouldn't be comfortable to write about this topic lest say the word breast in public.
Change is coming!
